People tell me that I have a joi de vie about myself.
I’ve been complimented on how well I’m holding it all together.
My stress is not a secret, but I hide it well.
I delight in my kids.
I listen to my grandma and count my blessings.
I thank G-d every night for all that I have.
The only people who are not satisfied is my family. Not my wonderful husband or my children with limited vocabularies, but my sister, and I think my brother and father, and as a result their spouses.
I’ve learned to say no and not let them control me.
I recently heard an amazing monologue by Mike Daisy about a cargo cult in the South Pacific who freed themselves from European oppression by burning the money. Without currency, the imperialists could not control the time and essentially the soul of the natives. Saying no to my dad’s control, not letting him bully me into having dinner with him is the equivalent of burning the currency. I do not have to be with him on his terms. It must be mutual. I’m no longer obliged to run his errands or attend to him simply because he wants or insists. This freedom has been so liberating for me. I’m not sure how he feels but part of my freedom is I am not going to be sucked into his reaction or over-reaction. I’m done keeping score with him or anybody for that matter, instead I’m focusing on moi. And it feels awesome.