Garden Variety Depression

August 23, 2010

I can rationalize how lucky I am. An amazing husband, two irresistible kids, and what I once thought was a tired cliche but I now realize is a true blessing, health. For the most part, my family is healthy. Sure I have a sore back, my husband has heartburn and insomnia, and a second cousin in Minnesota is in her sixth rehab stint. My dad is finishing chemo on his third cancer (one for each of his wives) and I lost my mom recently. At least it still feels recent, although it has been a year and a half already. But she did not suffer. And from what I understand, I should be grateful that I do not have the memories of her weak in a hospital bed.

And with the loss of my mom, I did find a little more career direction, as I’ve assumed her role as a real estate manager.

But there is part of me that is still a little girl with many of the same insecurities that plagued me when I was younger. Read the rest of this entry »


Spoiler: Married with Children

April 9, 2010

To fight the oppressive heat of the afternoon, I donned a silk blue dress with a cinch waist for an alumni lunch at a private dining club nestled in a secluded nook of the city.

On the walk across town, a man approached me.
“I’ve been following you for a block.” He was entranced by my look, he said looking me up to my gold lame headband and down to my braided leather ballet-type sneaker. He wanted to know if I was “in fashion” or “music”. He asked me about the hot clubs, one I’ve read about more than I’ve heard and as a result consistently forget how to pronounce it.

“I’ve been to Tenjune,” I lie. “a while ago,” trying to remember if Tenjune is still considered hot.

He tells me of a party for Usher last week and asks for my card.
Read the rest of this entry »