Walking on Eggshells

My stepfather calls him a sociopath. My mom hated him and my grandma definitively does not like him. He kisses up to my dad so my dad thinks he’s wonderful with forgivable faults. If he was great to my sister or at least respectful and less immature I’d overlook a lot, but he’s not. Bottom line: I do not like my sister’s husband.

He arrived in town yesterday for two weeks. The day before my sister lamented, I feel like it’s our last day together, because her husband has no desire to be around me unless my husband is here. Now I feel like I need to make an effort, or at least be conscious of respecting him (because it means respecting my sister and giving him less ammunition to bad mouth me and poison her against me, making her feel more torn) and not overlap schedules even though our kids want nothing more than to be together.

My brother wonders why I’m returning to New York City for two weeks less, one maybe two weekends of the Brother In Law’s stay. “You could stay at dad’s house,” my brother reasons. My dad and his wife who three times point blank did not answer my request if I could stay. My brother and sister and their kids have stayed/ are staying separately there. My dad’s wife did comment at the beginning of the summer, I don’t have your dates to stay at the house and I replied, You never gave me permission. I asked three times and was never given an answer. Of course even if I did stay, I would still feel an obligation to side step my sister and her husband’s plans. It’s such an acrimonious feeling.

This is the same sister who articulated multiple times that she did not think my husband should travel with the kids to his parents house the same weekend she and my brother were in town (never mind we would have seven additional days together).

I know my sister is torn. And she knows her husband is immature. I suppose I should be happy they are in a good spot, getting along, at least for the last 26 hours which makes her happy. She acts so subservient around him.

My husband comes this evening and he’ll not only calm me down, equalize the situation. I’ll have my ally and partner and we can do whatever we want with out children!

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