Training the Personal Trainer

January 30, 2010

I can’t decide if I like my personal trainer. We’ve met twice and I’m afraid every time I meet with him will make our inevitable break-up more challenging.

Will he smile politely when seeing me work out with a new trainer wondering what went wrong? Will he review our relationship and question if there were signs he ignored? Or will he just not care?

We’ve barely begun our relationship and I’m already considering the end. Not a good sign.
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Another Horny Dream

January 27, 2010

I obviously have sex on my mind if it continues to emerge in my subconscious. I can’t remember the too many details of last night’s after hours romp but it definitely involved a critique of my blow job skills.

I don’t love blow jobs. While there have been several inspired moments when I enjoyed thrusting my husband’s organ into the back of my throat, tickling my gag reflex, it’s not a exactly a pleasurable experience. Turning on my husband and exciting him in a way that I know he cannot do better himself (see hand job) Read the rest of this entry »

Yelling to get attention

January 11, 2010

I don’t yell like my dad, those long tirades where his face would get red and the blood vessels by his right eye would bulge and flatten with his breaths, as if even the blood vessel wanted to retreat from his wrath at the slightest opportunity. If my dad was a cartoon, he’d have been drawn with a stomping foot and angry steam spurting from his ears.

No matter what happened during the day, my father would come into the bedroom and say prayers beside me. It did not matter if he told me I was an ungrateful little shit who thought the world revolved around her, he would tuck me in and ask G-d to protect me.
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The Mourning Cycle Repeats

January 6, 2010

Isn’t it supposed to get easier? I thought it was. The awful tragic aspect of mourning where tears welled up even thinking about my mom had passed. I was able to articulate what had happened without saturating tissues. At first the healing, the improvement felt painful in a different way. No longer was the loss of my mom raw, the wound healing, time passing. Then it was okay.
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See Mom Run: Side-Splitting Essays from the World’s Most Harried Moms

January 4, 2010

For the NYC Moms Book club, I read See Mom Run, a collection of essays by contributors to the parent blog, Silicon Valley Moms. This book once again, assuaged some of my insecurities about my writing.
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