Filed under: Never Happen Again | Tags: courting a guy, dating, optimistic, past relationships, sex vs intimacy
My sister has told me that I am one of the more positive upbeat people she knows. Really? Years ago I had self diagnosed myself with a mild case of depression and bipolar disorder with a slight case of ADD. Was it the result of reading too many psychology books or wanting to explain my mood swings?
It’s true, I can be positive and optimistic for other people, but when it comes to me, I can rationalize the positive and think of something on an empirical level but my emotions don’t always follow.
I look back on my life pre-husband and *ALL* of the foolish choices I made when it came to men, and there were many. I’m embarrassed that I let myself be so used, that I put myself out there in vulnerable and compromising positions, that I traded sex for emotional intimacy, that I acted, in hindsight, pathetic. Multiple Times. I’m not proud of where I was, and at times I was okay with the compromises I made, because it was the best available option and brought me closer to what I wanted at that moment. I guess that’s part of the whole growing-up, that’s-where-I-was-at-that-time process.
And I am sure all of the assholes who crossed into my earlier life helped shape me into who I am and made me appreciate the real thing when he came along. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been flashing back to memories of laying beside a guy in bed and snuggling slightly, putting out feelers to see if he was interested in intimacy, waiting for a response. Frustrating. I wish I could go back and tell that girl that I once was, “it doesn’t matter. This guy isn’t worth it. He’s playing games and the more you indulge him in the games, the more he’ll play and the shittier you will feel.”
It’s all in the past and please g-d I won’t have to be in that dating/ courting situation again. I should be happy that I was naive enough not to know any better and blah blah blah.
Filed under: Desires, Never Happen Again | Tags: anticipation sex, over rated sex, sleeping with friends boyfriend, trained sexual partner, training guy in bed
A friend of mine raved about her new boyfriend and just how talented he was in bed. Apparently when he was younger he canoodled with an older woman who trained him.
What a symbiotic relationship: she was able to mold this young energetic kid who was probably eager to please into her personal nymph and he got the guidance and direction that every teenage boy should have.
My friend broke up with him but they remained platonic friends even while she moved in with a new boyfriend and subsequently got engaged. (She then called off the wedding but was actually married last weekend to someone else, but I digress.) My friend did end up connecting me with her ex, the well trained alleged stud in the bed.
One joint led to another one night and I decided to test out the goods. What single lady doesn’t deserve a great fuck? So we meandered into the bedroom with my hopes (among other things) high. I do not know if my friend has had limited sex or I have had a lot or this guy pulled out all of the moves for her (which I doubt because what guy is not going to try his best to impress on the first go around? Readers: thoughts? ) or something, but he did not deliver. He came through, but as for mind-blowing-knock-my-socks-off-I-want-to-come-just-thinking-about-it sex, not so much.
We romped a few more times, each time hoping that some amazing move would emerge. While he did have one or two original (at the time) signature positions, it was certainly nothing amazing. As for the older woman who trained him, maybe she was once a nun.
Filed under: Never Happen Again | Tags: airplane hook ups, long distance relationship, sow wild oats
I had a once a year guy, sort of. We met on a plane from India to Amsterdam and discovered we had a decent amount in common. I spent my three hour layover going into the city with him before he left for his business meeting.
The following year on my way to India we decided to meet again in Amsterdam for 27 hours. He was living in Switzerland at the time. Most of the day is what you would expect from a 27 hour relationship that was building up for a year. Not exactly Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke but still fun.
When I returned to India the following year we made arrangements to meet up again, this time staying at his friends apartment instead of a hotel. I was a little concerned as I had just met my now husband and father of my daughter. He was dating someone too so there was no awkwardness when we decided to sleep in separate bedrooms.
We met again in New York while I was still with my boyfriend and he brought along a lady friend. I unsuccessfully tried to gauge how long the two were an item.
Our friendship faded somewhat quickly once I told him I was engaged. No big surprise.
He recently added me as a friend or should I say contact on LinkedIn and I am tempted to reach out to him and naturally it brought up memories of our relationship. Another one in the category of “that’ll never happen again.”
There is the story of another guy I met on the way back from India. I had a layover in Germany and then in JFK before heading back to LA. We met waiting for the plane in Germany. He asked the person sitting next to me to swap seats with him. It was a long flight and I was bored so use your imagination. He waited with me in JFK before my flight instead of heading straight home. And a few weeks later he came out to see me. He was older and I think he was uncomfortable in LA and found an excuse to leave the next morning. Never heard from him again afterwards. Oh well. Maybe he was turned off when I told him not to expect any sort of future with me. I was 23 at the time and asked him to remember where his head was at 23.
Once again, will never happen again.
Filed under: Never Happen Again
About six years ago I was visiting my sister in South America and she told me about a friend of hers, well really a friend of her husband, who once sat down in the first class section of the plane with a coach seat.
As I boarded the plane back to the states, I thought, why not. If not know then when. So I plopped myself down in the bulk head seat of first class. I was asked to move because someone was assigned there. The stewardess which is now called a flight attendant asked to see my boarding pass. I pretended not to find it and moved to a row further back. A few minutes later I was displaced again, by a PILOT.
I then moved to another row where I sat for the remainder of the flight.
I will never do that again, and not just because I now know that airlines will upgrade loyal members to empty first class seats. Oh well, did it once, but not again.
