Last night I dreamt I was kissing this attractive well built young guy. I’m sounding like a real MILF when I refer to someone in their mid twenties as young. He began rubbing me and eventually I succumbed to his advances. Other than him being well endowed, I do not remember too much about our physical action, but I do know I was disappointed that we did not meet up again.
My sister and I had been talking about sexual choices we made when we were younger that night and I am not proud to admit how I used my body, or rather let my body be used for ulterior reasons, mostly for attention and feeling included. Who knew not being popular in middle school could have so many ramifications later on in life?
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I tried telling my 91 year old grandma last night how I enjoy flirting and I think she completely misunderstood what I was saying.
I know I’ve got it great on many levels and I am smart enough not to jeopardize it.
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One of the fun things about flirting is the anticipation or tease of what could possibly come next. That excitement where your mind fills in all of the blanks of what you do not know about the other and the possibility of more is more appealing than the actual act. So naturally, I love to flirt.
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Filed under: Guilty Pleasures, MiLF | Tags: midwest thanksgiving, travel, vacation, vacation sans kids
My husband always *gets* Thanksgiving. It’s an important holiday in his family and he loves to go home for the few days, see old friends and share an intimate turkey dinner with 45 of his closest cousins.
Because I’m not a sports fan and its hard to develop a close relationship with his extended family and high school buddies when I see them once a year, I’m not a huge fan of returning to the Midwest. This year, I planned ahead with my single girlfriends that was only slightly derailed with an unexpected pregnancy.
Tomorrow, I’ll be sitting in a business class seat to Europe while my husband packs to take our daughter to Cleveland. I’m so excited not just for my trip, where I have essentially nothing planned except exploring the city, but also for my husband.
I know my daughter is blessed to have such a great dad comfortable and excited to travel alone with her (of course once she arrives, I doubt her feet will even touch the ground). He’s also a big proponent of me traveling comfortably and enjoying myself on essentially my last hurrah. I suppose I should cut him more slack when he wants to watch football at home or grab a beer with the guys.
So despite all of the baggage and nonsense in my life, and there is plenty, I am going to indulge on my true honest to goodness real vacation and not think about naps (except mine), wet diapers (except when I have a leaky sneeze), catering to anyone (except my girlfriends), eating schedules (except my and my friend’s dietary restrictions), and well…you get the point.
Filed under: Guilty Pleasures | Tags: books dad, books masturbation, books sex, philip roth, portnoy's complaint, reading, sex books parents
I’ve been laughing out loud reading Philip Roth’s Portnoy’s Complaint. For those who do not know, which up until a few weeks ago included me, the novel is the transcript of a 33 year old in analysis talking about his quintessentially dramatic Jewish parents and his obsession with all things sex including masturbation.
My mom reread it and laughed aloud and thought my dad would enjoy rereading it. I refuse to be the one to recommend the book to him. I would hate for him to enjoy the book, to read the sex scenes, the time Portnoy masturbates in his family’s liver, to hear his description of a three-way with a whore in Italy and think of me, his youngest daughter, and thank me for the laughter that the book brings or the memories that it conjures.
Before I opened the first page, I mentioned the book to my brother in law who is looking for a new novel. Although less so than with my dad, I am still reluctant to pass along my copy. Nonetheless, I probably will with a disclaimer. It is too funny of a story to be kept to myself, or exclusively for the women I know.
Filed under: Body, Guilty Pleasures | Tags: abstaining, pregnant, surprise party
My husband through a little surprise party for me on Saturday. I was getting a little suspicious by that morning, but some of the guests who arrived truly surprised me.
Looking at pictures of the party, I see a small pooch where my flat abs once resided. They may still be flat, but now they hide behind a small belly where my baby grows.
We are playing a little game with one of the members of the share house: trying not to tell him I’m pregnant until the end of the summer. He did notice that I was drinking Non alcoholic beer but I don’t think that gave it away. I turned around my pre-natal vitamins lest they give away the secret.
The party was fun but there was a part of me that was jealous watching everyone drink beer and later smoke I know in the scope of my life, this is a short temporary hiatus from indulgences, but I still miss them.
My husband agreed to abstain for nine days, after he told me that nine months was not that long. He has yet to start his nine days but claims he will. Whatever.
I’m kind of bummed that those cute fitted t-shirts I recently bought expose my growing stomach.
I know I’m blessed and lucky on so many fronts, but I’m not excited about being pregnant (despite the ice cream benefit). I’m starting to get excited about having another baby though. I just have to figure out how to squeeze the new one into the apartment.
Filed under: Guilty Pleasures | Tags: hot mom, rough sex, S&M machine, S&M pilates, spanking
I asked my pilates instructor how many times her clients comment that the Cadillac machine looks like some sort of S&M contraption. I have never used an S&M machine, but I imagine that one would resemble this machine with leg straps, a bar, an elevated table and some extra leather straps.
How romantic is it to contort oneself into such a contraption before sex?
The idea of handcuffs is stimulating, or should I say titillating, but having my partner or myself cooperate kind of takes away from the whole struggle/ turn on aspect. Even if one of us puts up a little fight for *show* makes a difference.
One of the toys my friend who sold sex toys gave me was a whip with a feather on one end.
I guess it’s all about the tease and a little spanking. The mind can be very creative in anticipating what lays ahead sexually.
Filed under: Guilty Pleasures | Tags: first vibrator, hong kong sex toy, masturbation issue
I was absolutely humiliated when my Dad’s wife of all of about five minutes suggested I get a vibrator to take to college my freshman year. I told my mom and she laughed at the ridiculousness of the suggestion. Who uses a vibrator I thought? I was 17 and did not meet one person who admitted to vibrating. I squirmed in embarrassment when my stepmother told me about my dad discovering her toy. eww.
I don’t remember how or why I turned around, but next thing I knew we were roaming the aisles of Caldor looking for a “facial massager.”
Ten plus years later all I can say is Thank you Stepmom! It’s one of the nicest most eye-opening experiences ever. I almost pity my mom for being so ignorant about this satisfying aspect of life.
Several months later I helped a frustrated friend overcome whatever issues she had with masturbating and loaned her Pan Man as we nicknamed that little Panasonic Pleasurer. I can think of at least two or three other friends who I have also influenced in the realm of toys.
Now it is hard to believe that I ever had any issue with “it”.
After backpacking in Southeast Asia post college I was horny. I had a layover in Hong Kong and was staying at some very funky hostel where nobody spoke English. Horny and alone I stopped at a street fair and saw some guy selling a mini-massager. Why not? I thought. Being slightly bored, I pretended I did not know what the toy was for and had the salesmen in his very limited English demonstrate how the gadget could massage my head and neck. I wonder if he knew I was in on the joke.
